Getting Through, 2020

by Alicia

It is an understatement to say that this year has been difficult. There have been moments when I didn’t want to do anything and times when I wanted to burst into tears. I can’t even explain the emotions because it has been such a unique way of life that I have never known until now. We are in December now and I have been reflecting on the reasons I have made it this far, this year, even through the struggle, and I am thankful for that. I have been able to stay home a lot during the pandemic. I am fortunate for that reason. Mason has gone to work everyday, as he has an essential occupation which has kept us safe and comfortable. I never take this for granted. I have had close friends experience loss this year and it is heartbreaking. It is hard to believe we are still in a pandemic and still evolving within the darkness. I think we have learned we are stronger than maybe – we thought we were.

Reliable as always, music has played a key role in healing me this year. Keaton has become a vinyl record collector and I could not be more proud of that. He seems to truly appreciate the media for its beauty and history. His love for music has enlightened me as we are able to share our favorite artists with each other and go into great detail about why we like what we like. Keaton has enjoyed visiting Waiting Room Records as often as possible. I am happy he has such a healthy interest (and it is also an extra bonus that is an interest I share with him.) To see his excitement for a new album re-issue or a rare album find – it brings that joy back to me too. This year, Keaton and I waited outside the record store on Record Store Day for the first time. We were socially distanced and wore masks. We waited for over two hours for an album release he wanted and wound up getting the album because a kind stranger in front of us saved it for us rather than taking the last copy for himself. The selflessness of this gesture will be our story we will tell for years to come. I told Keaton, ‘that is what record store customers do!” That moment as well as each moment he has experienced around buying new records and becoming a part of the music community has been encouraging and positive. Listening to these records has brought us so much joy and I’m thankful for the year brought us this.

Adding to the music theme… Oh, Alchemy released 6 new songs & we never planned to do that this year in particular but it just happened. Timing on the song release was something that was purely serendipity. David and I have been working on songs for a several years now and the pace we are able to work on these songs has brought me a relaxed sense of freedom that has nurtured my love for songwriting and singing. I’m proud of the songs and being able to share them and receive such a positive response is amazing. Thank you, seriously, my heart was warmed by the support we received from the release. Anyone who knows me well or has worked with me on music knows it is a passion for me and this song release was a big deal for me. I also hope to collaborate with Zach again soon, maybe in 2021? I hope to work with Derek some time in the future as well (we have songs that really need to be created and completed) and maybe a cover album with Tim (not my brother or former bass player but another very nice musician named Tim)… Let’s hope 2021 brings us even more music that we are happy to make and share and enjoy.

Books are next… obviously, you saw this coming, didn’t you? I have become a voracious reader this year and I am devouring books. I have to thank a local independent bookstore called Afterwords Books because this bookstore is a unique, lovely, little gem that has a brilliant selection of ‘gently loved’ books that are affordable and allow me to participate in the ‘trade for credit’ program which has benefited my mental health for certain. I am able to donate my books to Afterwords for store credit and select from her inventory. This is an amazing service to the community and we are lucky to have this little bookstore. Goodreads tells me I have read 72 books this year (my goal was 24 – I need to up the number next year.) I love reading. The 3 seasons room and hammock helps with that and the time I am able to spend reading helps with that too. I did start a book club but we only had 1 meeting until the pandemic took over. It was a good meeting though and I hope we can start it back up again in the future when we can all be together again. I have looked forward to writing mini reviews of the books I read and sharing that online too. I thought ‘maybe I’m positing too many book reviews’ but then I receive positive feedback about the reviews and decide I should keep going with it. I think we often help people in ways we didn’t expect. I’ll have to write about my top 10 favorite books soon.

I truly missed my friends this year. I did have some socially distant meet-ups with Kristine, Erin, Wendy, Kristin, Terri… I hope I’m not leaving anyone out but it’s possible. I tried to keep contact to a minimum and see very few people. The summer was the best when the weather was nice. I have such great memories of conversations I’ve had that would power me for the rest of the week. Kristine, our book talks on the front porch are memorable. When the pandemic is over, I think I still want to hang out on your front porch. I hope the boys come over and say hello too. Wendy, Erin and Kristin it’s not possible for me to laugh any more than I did hanging out with you individually or together or in whatever ways we were creative about visiting with each other. Bakery goods, coffee, that lunch from Weeping Willow cafe… all of that. I’m thankful for that time with you because it was so comforting (and often hilarious) and I needed that. Terri! You are an amazing friend that I am so lucky to have befriended. I can count on you for just about anything. I appreciate the baked goods and yummy things more than words can say. I have also truly needed a co-worker friend who understands all the things I vent about and laugh about – thanks so very much. Even the friends I wasn’t able to connect with in person – the online presence was felt strongly this year. The text messages, DM, comments to just say hey… it all mattered. Amanda and Aimee, two very cool friends I’ve chatted with so many times over Instagram. I can’t tell you how much your comments meant to me. We had laughs. I love it. Friends who had babies!! omg how sweet. I’ve been calmed and soothed by your adorable pictures of your cute, tiny, newborns. Now I want a puppy…

Here is the political part. I can’t leave it out because it is such a big part of this year. I was so overwhelmed with happiness to 45 voted out. What a very disheartening reign it has been over the past four years. To see it come to an end and to see it come to an end in such a history making way… astounding. I’m proud of those who joined me in making a change and fighting for what we believe in our hearts. I bonded with others who wanted freedom to speak their minds. I was able to share my thoughts about how I have felt empowered to do so. The injustices this year lead to a movement that is powerful. The results of the election proved just how powerful we are.

I couldn’t end this post without acknowledging Mason, at least one more time. He has been diligent with his work and I know how much it means to him. I know it means so much to him to provide for Keaton and I. He is doing an awesome job at being behind the mic, producing music for me, connecting with Keaton, all of it. I know it is a lot but I hope you are able to be fueled by the love we feel for you. Thank you. The date nights at the 3 seasons room turned restaurant ‘quarantino’ and humoring me with me frequent dances that happen for no reason at all. The seemingly non-stop take out food runs, grocery runs, coffee runs… I am indebted with gratitude. We didn’t overload on toilet paper and we made it! We almost made it through the year. We are almost there. Thank you for helping me manage my anxiety and managing your anxiety and keeping us all sane in a time when nothing is sane.

I was inspired by the fun post “Normalize telling your friends you love them. Tell them a lot. Make it weird.” Let’s do just that. I’m sure I made it weird at this point. Seriously though…. this year was especially hard. Knowing you are not alone and knowing that are kind, caring people out there and in your inner circle has inspired me and made me feel hopeful.